Artist / Parent Interview

I recently did an interview with artist Colette Lilley, who runs the Artist / Parent Interviews series on Instagram. It was such a therapeutic process to put pen to paper and reflect on my experiences as both a parent and an artist. I got so carried away answering the questions that I went well over the word count and had to painstakingly cut things down.

So I thought I’d share the full, unedited version here on my blog, for anyone interested and to make the most of the hours I poured into it, lol.

Here goes…

Question 1: Tell us about yourself

I’m a visual artist and mother of two, currently on a family gap year travelling the world. This experience has hugely supported my exploration into the connection between inner and outer landscapes. My work often weaves together drawing, painting, and storytelling, exploring our relationship with our environment, and the human touch in the landscape.
I come from a working-class background, and that sense of resourcefulness still fuels both my art and my parenting. Right now, I’m travelling with my kids, making work on the move, and learning how to balance being present with them while keeping my creative practice alive and evolving.

Question 2: How has being a parent had a positive impact on your artistic practice?

When I was pregnant with my first, I unfortunately read artist Celia Paul’s quote: “An artist should not have children, as the sacrifice is just too great. One or the other suffers.” It created anxiety in me, and I worried how it would all work. And I’d be lying if I said I don’t still have those worries. But on the flip side, I can now see how becoming a parent has deepened my practice and made me much more confident as a person and artist.
After labour and maternity leave, I thought ‘you’re strong, you can do anything’. And you’ve created this beautiful being so now you can create anything. It sounds cheesy, but that’s how I felt.
In the studio pre-kids, I used to faff and overthink starting projects, worrying if the meaning behind my work would be understood, etc. But with less time now, I just have to begin. That pressure is a blessing for me and my overthinking mind. Ask any artist parent and they’ll agree that time in the studio is precious. So, the making became the thinking, and this process shift changed my work in ways that wouldn’t have been possible before.
Both maternity leaves also forced me to reconnect with nature. Children just love being outdoors and this appreciation began to seep into my work. I went from painting all portraits to totally switching to landscape. Children forced me to slow down and notice the little things in life and nature, and I began to carry this into my work.
And lastly, having children made me reconnect with my imagination. Seeing their unleashed and free use of imagination made me remember I used to think like this before art world expectations and social norms crept into creative thinking. This prompted me to take the Online Drawing Development Course with the Royal Drawing School last year, to break through the rules I’d created for myself and tap back into that child-like creative thinking.

Question 3: What are the challenges you have faced in your artistic practice being a parent?

Where to begin! First, battling my inner critic, the voice that says I’m selfish for wanting to make art instead of devoting every moment to family. But I’ve realised I need art, and without it, I’m not the mum I want to be. When my kids see me creating, it inspires them too. They treasure making because they see me doing it. I try to hold onto that when doubt creeps in.
Then there’s applying to residencies. Most aren’t child-friendly, so I’ve never been able to do one. Building a network has been tough too, private views clash with bedtime, and looking after the kids sometimes leaves you too depleted to spend time with others.
Time management and being organised has always been my Achilles’ heel, and having kids has made this even harder. I do miss deadlines for submissions and applications and now I just have to prioritise the really important ones and accept I can’t do it all.

Question 4: Any advice for other Artist Parents and how they can continue to nurture their practice?

I met Jenny Saville during my first maternity leave at an artist talk she gave at Chatsworth House. She spoke so honestly about being both a mother and an artist, and afterwards I pushed myself to speak to her. I’m so glad I did. She gave me advice that kept me going through those early days of nappies and sleepless nights. She wrote it in my sketchbook: “Keep doing art, if only ten minutes a day, it will get easier.” I held onto that. Just do what you can, when you can. In the thick of early motherhood, it feels never-ending. But your art will wait for you. And even when you’re not actively making, you’re still developing ideas. Being a parent adds so much to your creative well. I used to jot notes on my phone or leave voice memos for myself and knew I’d come back to them one day.
As the kids get older and become more independent, time slowly opens up again. When that happens, guard time with your life. Make a routine that works for your family and treat your art time as sacred. It’s important, and it’s not selfish.
My advice? Focus on the act of making. Just start something, anything. Don’t worry about exhibitions or outcomes when you’re first finding your way back in. Build your confidence first. The rest will follow in time.
And most importantly, reach out to other artists and artist-parents. It can feel incredibly lonely trying to juggle both roles. One thing I’ve learned is that most artists are kind and appreciate being contacted. Be brave, ask someone for a coffee. They might need that chat as much as you.
There are also brilliant initiatives that support artist-parents. In Manchester, I used to go with the kids to Mothers Who Make at HOME, a weekly drop-in for creative parents. It helped me reconnect with my creative side at a time when I felt like I’d lost it completely.

Question 5: Is there anything else you would like to say, share or promote

Being an artist and a parent is hard, but do keep showing up, every little bit feeds your practice. And be kind to yourself. I read a great book, Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff, which really helped me. If you’re short on time, get it on Audible.
I’d love to connect, come say hi on Instagram @stefanietrow. I’ll be developing new work during my first-ever residency at Dumfries House with the Royal Drawing School this September, exploring queer identity, drawing installations and drawing as a healing practice in nature. And for these two weeks only, I’ll be just an artist and not ‘mum!’ – the kids for once are not invited!